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For my Best Friend

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Dear Vhez,

I often find myself looking back on my life and realising how much of a vital part you have played in keeping me steady when the rest of my world has been falling apart. How you have known what to say and do in the moments when I have felt all control slipping through my fingers. Even if it’s just dropping everything and taking me for coffee and listening to me try to untangle the mess of thoughts raging war inside my head.

You have been the quiet voice encouraging me on the days when I feel like everything I touch turns bad. When I have felt like giving up, when I have questioned every decision I have ever made, it was you who convinced me I was on the right path. You have been the hand against my back, guiding me every step of the way, when the road has seemed too dark and too long and just too far out of my reach.

You did not let me falter or stop or turn around.

You have been there at four am when he isn’t replying to my texts or we’ve had an argument and he has fallen asleep pressed against the bedroom wall, miles from my body, you have replied as if you have absolutely nothing else to do, as if you do not have a partner and a child who need you too.

You have made me feel as if it is only me who matters, even if I am being selfish, even if it is silly drama; you have made me believe it still counts.

You have been the person I know I can talk to about anything, whom it is perfectly acceptable for me to say my bitchy thoughts out loud to and discuss inappropriate things with. Nothing is off limits with you, there is absolutely no parts of myself I shield from you because I know you love them all, I know that there is nothing about me that is too much for you, even when it is for other people.

You have spent hours crammed into tiny train carriages and fighting your way through London underground during rush hour just to spend twenty-four hours with me- hours filled with laughter, wine, horrendous amounts of calories and a long night with no sleep, just conversation about everything and nothing. You have cancelled plans last minute to show up to events I absolutely cannot attend alone because you know sometimes my social anxiety cripples me, you know because you feel it too and whenever it hits like a hurricane, your hand slips into mine and I feel as if I won’t get swept away, not this time.

And when I met you, it felt as if I had known you my entire life.

Within a matter of days we knew each other’s histories like the back of our hand and we were already throwing insults at each other. You remembered how I take my tea, my Starbucks order and exactly what it takes to calm when I’m having a bad day.

You just fit in, like the missing jigsaw piece to my life and I knew that no matter what happens now, you’ll always be here because it wouldn’t be right without you.

Best friend, I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you. Thank you for existing, for being everything I need, for being someone I always look forward to seeing, who makes me want to rearrange schedules just to have half an hour talking over coffee- even about the mundane things.

Thank you for days wandering around the city, window shopping and laughing and planning exciting dates months from now. Thank you for making me feel steady, for being the person I want to text straight away whenever something hilarious or amazing or sad happens, for your words being the only ones that matter.

Thank you for just being you, for knowing exactly what to say and when to say it or quite simply, when to say nothing at all, when all I need is to be held.

Thank you for those days when the rest of the world is against me, for making me feel less alone. For believing every silly dream which enters my head and being excited for me about things which no one else understands. Thank you for always validating my emotions, for taking my side, for telling me when I’m wrong, for being honest.
Thank you for saving my life in that quiet way which doesn’t demand recognition but hell, deserves it anyway.

This is written by Rose Goodman at http://thoughtcatalog.com/rose-goodman/2017/04/dear-best-friend-thank-you-for-existing/ entitled Dear Best Friend.

This is definitely not mine. But re-posting the whole letter on this blog because every word on this piece hits me really hard.

Never fading..

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May forever sa rose na ‘to. Preserved. Unlike sa naubos na petals sa mismong movie, hinding hindi to mauubos.

Kagaya nang pagmamahal ko sa’yo, pang forever din. Hindi man tayo hanggang huli, you will always have that special place in my heart that no one could ever possibly replace..

You…yes YOU.

..because you give me hope, the strength and the will to keep on.🙂

I love this. And I bet every girl wants this. If not all, atleast, those who are enchanted by disney princesses or those who grew up singing a whole new world or refelction.

I repeatedly watch beauty and the beast, in cartoon of course, when I was young. It was one of my favorites. The story is something. It is the very first thing that taught me that loving someone comes in different forms…that even the most impossible person to be loved, can be loved.

Watching it in movie, it brought me back to my childhood. It is a musical movie. The animation are splendid. I love it. Like the old times, it gives me the chills of a love that is beyond measure…a love of a father and a love that inspires you to be a better version of yourself.

this rose will forever be for you.😎

PS: photo not mine. CTO.

Malinaw na malabo ang Tayo.

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Malinaw na mensahe.

Malabong pagsasabi.
Malabong ikaw.

Malinaw na ako.

Tayo, di ba?

Kayo, ano ba?
#BersoSaMetro #NoFilter #WaitingMoments #Phonetography

A once upon a time without a happily ever after

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Once upon a time, you were the main character in the story of his life. On those days, he made you feel that you were his favourite scene-mate; that you were his only co-star; and that you were his dialogue buddy in every frame of his life.

But one day, everything changes.

Your role had changed. You never see it coming and it keeps hurting you since then…(until today).

He chose another co-star already. He chose another main character who will act with him, converse with him, and do scenes with him.  Too bad, it was not you. It was not you anymore..

..and never will it be you again.

You were totally gone on the upcoming shoots to complete the story of his life. From this day foreward, you will never be the main character again. Today, you will only be referred as once an extra character in that story…not even a supporting character.

He’ll finish the story of his life with another main character…that someone who had replaced you officially. But what can you do? Your former role was put into an official end.

He now lives happily ever after…but not with you.

He is happy and you should be happier for him. Whether you were only an extra character in the story of his life, he will remain as your life’s favourite co-star in the story of your life.

You should start again with another once upon a time.

And maybe…just maybe…it will end up on you and another person’s happily ever after.

 

But yes, this official changed of roles on one’s life sucks. This hurts so bad. This f*cking hurts!

(Wala lang)

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Hi.

Kanina pa ko nakatitig sa blank page na to pero panay lang ang blink ng cursor. it’s been a while since my last blog entry. Ang dami kong gustong ikwento at sabihin pero hindi ko alam kung paano. Ang dami na ring nagbago sa buhay ko..

Since September 8 (or should I say weeks before that), wala akong matinong tulog. Time check: 1:21am. Bukod sa tambak na mga kasong [pinagbabasa ko, at nakakapangatog tuhod na recitations, something seems to bother me.

Funny thing was, I haven’t seen that someone for hmmmm…three (3) years na yata. But the moment na nagpaalam sya na aalis na sya, parang gusto ko siyang pigilan. Cliche di ba? Paano ko naman pipigilan ang taong  taon ko na ngang di nakikita? Ni hindi ko nga alam kung….hmmm…basta.

Namiss ko siya..at namimiss ko siya. The thought na malayo sya ngayon, mas lalo ko siyang mamimiss for sure.

nalungkot ako…pero (magiging) masaya na rin. Kasi kailangan niya raw gawin yon.. Anyway, nag-promise naman syang isusurprise nya ako pagbalik nya. At panghahawakan ko yon. Lagot sya sa’kin pag ‘di niya ginawa! >.<

Waiting moments for now while praying sa everyday safety niya…

(haha. Sorry guys kung maggulo. Saka na ko magpapaliwanag.)

Mag-aaral na nga ako at baka mapatayo na naman ako ng tatlong oras (sa recitation).

32 Game-Changing Quotes About Love And Life That Will Make You Feel Better, Instantly

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Something to ponder on. #ThisIsLife

Thought Catalog

ScribeScribe


I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching they are your family.

Jim Butcher


Please know that there are much better things in life than being lonely or liked or bitter or mean or self conscious. We are all full of shit. Go love someone just because, I know your heart may be badly bruised, or even the victim of numerous knifings but it will always heal even if you don’t want it to, it keeps going. There are the most fantastic, beautiful things and people out there, I promise. It’s up to you to find them.

Chuck Palahniuk


Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, or my kindness for weakness.

Anonymous


People don’t like love, they like that flittery flirty feeling. They don’t love love – love is sacrificial…

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Hindi na kawalan (soon)

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I

Ikaw ang nagpasyang ako ay tuluyang iwanan

Sa kabila ng lahat ng ginawa ko upang hindi mo ‘ko bitawan

Ni hindi mo ako pinagbigyan na ikaw ay aking mapigilan

Kaya naman ako’y umiiyak ngayon at lubhang nasasaktan

II

Hindi ba’t nangako kang ako’y iyong aalagaan —

na mamahalin mo ‘ko araw-araw hanggang sa dulo ng walang hangganan?

Sadya bang kay ikli ang pakahulugan mo sa magpakailanman

kaya hindi man lang tayo umabot sa ‘sang taon nang pagmamahalan?

III

Gusto kong magalit sa’yo ngunit hindi ko mapanindigan

Pagkat nangingibabaw pa rin ang pagmamahal kaysa sa ibang nararamdaman

Kay sakit lamang talaga ng paghingi mo sa iyong kalayaan

Lalo’t ang paglisan mo’y walang namang malinaw na kadahilanan

IV

Siguro’y sapat na ang mga idinulot mong kalungkutan

Kaya nararapat lamang na ikaw ay akin nang pakawalan

Bagama’t ang puso ko’y tila ba gusto ka pang ipaglaban

Hayaan mo’t matututunan ko ring ikaw ay makalimutan

V

Ngayon, ang mabuhay ng wala ka ay dapat ko ng kasanayan

at itatak sa’king isipan na bahagi ka na lamang ng masakit kong nakaraan

Hindi magtatagal ay muli na kong makangingiti at ‘di na masasaktan

At sa panahong ‘yon, mapapatunayan kong ikaw ay hindi na kawalan

PS:

O kay hirap talaga ang lumaban

Mahirap lalo kung ang mundo ang ‘yong lalabanan.

Pero ang pinakamahirap na totoong paglaban

ay ‘yong taong dahilang kung bakit ka talaga lumalaban

ay hindi kumakampi sa’yo at tuluyan ka ng sinukuan.

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