What if God has a cellphone?

What if we all have God’s cp number?

<rings>

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English Language, press 1.

For Filipino, press 2.

For other languages, press 3.

Transferring.

Press 1 for thanksgiving and praises,

Press 2 for forgiveness,

Press 3 for wishes

Press 4 for other inquiries.

Transferring.

Sorry but all the angels, saints, and even God is busy attending to the sinners. For those who can wait, please stay on the line.

For those asking for their true love to come, please wait until God’s plan and your plan coincide.

For inquiries why things are happening to you, may you understand that I have a bigger plan for you. Please reflect and meditate.

For reservation in heaven, please wait until your judgement day has come. Hence, we are advising you to do good and be good for sure spot here in heaven.

For those asking about the existence of dinosaurs, how wide really is the milky way, what is your purpose in this life and how long would you still live, please enter God’s SSS number followed by the % sign. If you don’t know God’s SSS number, please hang up and search for it first and get back to this line.

For emergency prayers, please contact your local pastor/priest.

Thank you for calling heaven and have a heavenly day! I love you.